As a copy editor, grammar errors are usually the source of headaches for me rather than laughter. The more mistakes there are in a manuscript, the bigger my headache. Malapropisms, however, are a special case.

What Is a Malapropism?

A malapropism is basically a misuse of words. In both writing and speech, people often use the wrong word, generally a similar-sounding word to the correct word, but with a completely different meaning. You might do this with song lyrics. I know I sang “the cross-eyed bear that you gave to me” instead of “the cross I bear” when listening to Alanis Morrissette’s “You Oughta Know” for a long time before learning my mistake. There are many other famous examples, and most of them are pretty funny.

This error is also extremely common in writing, and I come across new and creative ones on an almost daily basis. Some of the most delightful malapropisms I can recall coming across are as follows:

“He’s a bit of a damp squid.” This one actually makes a kind of sense, and you can see why someone might think it is correct. However, the right expression is “a damp squib,” which is an explosive that fails to ignite, hence the meaning of the phrase—something that underperforms or fails to meet expectations.

“He was a great worrier.” This is a fine sentence, but in the context of the text, it was clear that the author meant “a great warrior.” I was charmed by this mistake, but the image of a neurotic individual instead of a powerful fighter is definitely not something you want sneaking into the final draft of your manuscript.

“I looked up at him with hasty eyes.” It took me a while to work this one out. What is a hasty eye? It conjures a very strange picture. Eventually I reached the conclusion that the author meant “hazy.”

“It was an effluent part of the city.” I love this one so much. Of course, the author meant “affluent,” meaning rich, rather than “effluent,” which often refers to sewage. I know which part of the city I’d rather live in.

“This photograph betrays her features very effectively.” In this instance, the author meant “portrays” but ended up with a much more interesting sentence.

“I hate to tell you this, but your husband is in a comma.” This is more confusing news than bad news. When you mean “coma” instead of “comma,” it’s probably not the time for a humorous misunderstanding.

“The dog's fur was griddled with lice.” I am pretty sure the author meant “riddled” unless she was experimenting with some very creative cooking methods.

“Her room compromised a worn mattress in the corner and nothing else.” “Compromised” and “comprised” are often confused. This example left me wondering what the room was doing to the poor mattress to leave it in such a vulnerable state.

How to Avoid Malapropisms

There is no foolproof way to avoid falling into the malapropism trap. There are so many different and unique variations, it’s almost impossible to identify them all. In my experience, the single best way to learn which words are correct in which contexts is to read more. Read a wide variety of books to improve your vocabulary in your own writing. If you get your books edited professionally, you can also comb through the corrections and identify any common malapropisms you are guilty of. This will help you to avoid these particular mistakes in the future.

Have you come across any hilarious malapropisms that stick in your mind? Share them below!

When you check your own manuscript for errors, you are probably looking for misspelled words, dodgy grammar, and the inevitable typos. Those are all things you need to correct—but you should also be aware of pesky consistency errors that are commonplace in poorly edited manuscripts.

Why Does Consistency Matter?

Sure, your average reader might not mind if you make a few slip-ups, but inconsistency, whether in names, spelling, punctuation, or formatting, can be bothersome and distracting. They also make your book look amateurish and sloppy. If you want to have a professional final product, keeping a checklist of common inconsistencies is a great way to ensure you don’t miss any small but significant style issues.

What to Look For

Inconsistency can mean a lot of things. Inconsistency in style, inconsistency in plot or characterization, or subtle but significant inconsistencies in spelling and punctuation. Plot inconsistencies need to be addressed on a case-by-case basis, but style inconsistencies are much easier to weed out. Once you know what to look for, it’s easy to go through and check you haven’t made any of the most common consistency errors. Below I’ve listed some of the ones I see in almost every manuscript I edit.

Toward vs. Towards

U.S. authors generally favor “toward” whereas in the UK “towards” is more common. However, I see a lot of inconsistency in usage. It’s one of those times when there is no wrong answer but being consistent is important. While you’re at it, you should also check “forward/forwards” and “backward/backwards” for consistency. A quick search for “ward” and “wards” usually shows you if you are using these two inconsistently.

Alright vs. All Right

While technically “all right” is correct, “alright” is an acceptable alternative, and I see both versions frequently. In fact, I often see both versions within the same manuscript. Personally, I don’t think it really matters which version you use, but it is important to stick to just one. A quick Find and Replace makes it easy to catch and correct this error.

OK or okay?

I’ve seen “ok” (incorrect), “OK,” and “okay” all making friends together in a single manuscript. It doesn’t really matter if you use “OK” or “okay” but make sure you stick to one or the other. (Top tip: if you realize you’ve been using both, it is easier to Find and Replace “okay” and solve the issue in seconds. Don’t Find and Replace “OK” or you’ll end up with word salad. Think “book” to “bookay.”)

The Oxford Comma

Some people like the Oxford comma, others eschew it. Both schools of thought are fine, but you need to pick one and stick with it. I see more authors who use it than who don’t bother with it, but it really comes down to personal choice. The best way to achieve consistency here is to decide which way you want to swing before you start typing. It’s a pesky little thing to edit manually.

Names with Multiple Spellings

If your characters have unusual names, or even just names that have more than one possible spelling, pay extra attention when checking your work that you spell their name the same every single time. I see this a lot in fantasy books with Naehiramels and Kreossaleks, or other unusual names. It also crops up with Saras and Sarahs, Stevens and Stephens—I’ve even seen Chance and Chase interchanged. Keeping a list of your character names can be a useful reference if you are prone to making this kind of error. If a character is called Alyce or Alise, I often do a quick search for “Alice” to check the author hasn’t accidentally mislabeled her character. Trust me, it pays off.

Which Dash?

A lot of people get confused about the difference between an em dash (—), an en dash (–), and a hyphen (-). I’m here to tell you not to sweat it too much. Just be consistent. If you’re separating parts of your sentence—like this—you can use whatever you please. Sure, there are rules, but being consistent is more important than conforming to a style guide. Pick one and stick to it. I recommend the trusty em dash—this one—for U.S. authors. In the UK, the preferred format is en dashes with spaces – like this – but do whatever floats your boat. Just don’t mix and match.

Speech Mark and Apostrophe Shapes

This is a particularly strange and nitpicky one. I’ve noticed that in many manuscripts, authors have a mix of different shapes for speech marks and apostrophes: “ or " and ‘ or '. I don’t really know why there are two different shapes, If I’m being honest, but I do know that it looks messy to have differently shaped speech marks littering your manuscript. A good old Find and Replace does the trick here. It’s a handy one to add to your checklist.

Two or 2?

A lot of authors get confused about how to format numbers. This includes ages, dates, street names, house numbers, money, and just the number of items you are referring to. Admittedly it is a big headache, and the rules are tiresome and complex. If in doubt, screw the rules and just be consistent. Don’t use 2 and two interchangeably. Don’t oscillate between 5th Avenue and Fifth Avenue. Make a choice between five dollars and $5. The most basic rule is that you spell out numbers up to nine and write 10 and up numerically. It gets more complicated than this, of course, but if in doubt, just pick a format and stick to it. Even if it’s not technically correct according to some style guide, consistency always looks better than a muddle.

Chapter Headings

If you do a lot of rewriting, and I can’t stress this enough, check your chapter headings! I can’t begin to tell you the number of times I’ve seen authors skip a number or have two Chapter 22s in a row. Be sure to pick a format and stick with it. Usually just searching “chapter” makes it easy to see if you have misnumbered your chapters or have “Chapter 2” followed by “Chapter Three.”

I’m sure there are many more, but these are some of the ones I see the most. Are there any consistency issues you are guilty of in your writing? What goes on your style checklist? Let me know!

Whilst there is no substitute for hiring a professional editor, self-editing is an important skill for any writer to hone. For one thing, the more passes a manuscript gets, the fewer errors will remain in the final product. If you are using an editor, be sure to self-edit thoroughly first so they can focus on the things you have missed. If you are not using an editor, then self-editing is doubly essential. Here are a few tips to make sure you catch as many errors as possible.

1. Use spellcheck (or an outside grammar tool)

This is really the most fundamental thing you need to do before anything else. If you are writing in Word, even running the basic Spelling and Grammar tool can catch a whole host of mistakes that you've made. You can go one step further and use another tool such as Grammarly or Paper Rater too. Make sure you use your best judgment though - automated tools can only go so far, so they will often pick up things that aren't actually errors. 

2. Read out loud

You might feel silly, but there is nothing like reading out loud to help you see mistakes like confusing sentences, word duplication or repetitive vocabulary. This is a great way to eliminate careless mistakes and refine your sentence structure.

3. Take a break before rereading

It's easy to get too wrapped up in your work to see things objectively. After your first proofread, take a step back and tuck your manuscript away for a few weeks then come back and reread it. As well as seeing errors that you missed the first time, you might have a few ideas for story tweaks and be better at spotting plot holes or inconsistencies too. 

4. Ask for a second opinion

If you're not sure if a word is in the right context or if a sentence sounds good, ask someone else. Forums like KBoards are great for getting a second opinion from other writers - or you could just ask a grammar-savvy friend or two. If in doubt, always check, don't just let things slide. 

5. Learn the rules of grammar and punctuation

If you are going to take the time to self-edit your work, make sure you know what to look for. Not sure when to use a comma, or how to punctuate speech? There are hundreds of free online resources to help you out. GrammarBook and Grammar Girl are two handy resources, but just type your query into Google and do a bit of research and you'll be able to learn the rules in a jiffy.

6. Make a list of common mistakes

If you know you are prone to mixing up your and you're or using then instead of than, make a point of checking specifically for those mistakes. Here is a list of common errors to check for - you can use the Find tool to skip through the manuscript to find specific words. 

Any more suggestions for self-editing? Write them in the comments below. 

Recently I was asked whether it was better to write a book in first person or third person. I thought the question merited some thought.

My first thought on the subject is that it is entirely up to the author - I wouldn't say that one is better than the other, and people have their own preferences. I usually prefer to read books written in third person because I think it allows for more flexibility in the narrative as it is not tied solely to one character's knowledge or view of events. However, I know many books that work really well in first person - sometimes having everything from one person's perspective and really exploring how your character thinks and feels is a huge draw.

Kazuo Ishiguro's style is one that comes to mind when I think of masterful use of first person. In The Remains of the Day, for example, his character interprets and reinterprets events in his past throughout the story, casting a different light on them every time in such subtle shades that you slowly realize his narrative is not necessarily reliable or accurate. Through his eyes, the reader sees that he is forcing himself to believe a certain version of events, blotting out the deeper truths behind it. Or at least, that is my interpretation. To Kill a Mockingbird is another great example of a story whose particulars we see through a child's eyes, completely changing how we interpret events.

If you want to focus more on the bigger picture than one character, though, third person is usually the better choice and can be a powerful story-telling tool. I think it works particularly well in any story with a complex plot, several storylines, or some form of mystery. Just from the two examples I gave, though, it is obvious that first person does not have to equal one-dimensional or simplistic.

So really, I don't have an answer. There are pros and cons to both. In the end, the best thing to do is choose the means of telling the story which makes it easiest for you to communicate everything you want to communicate.

I'm excited to add a new service to my website. Since so many authors want both a copy edit and a proofread for their work, I decided to make the process that much simpler - and cheaper.

I'm now offering a package deal that includes a back-to-back copy edit and proofread for $0.95/100 words - a fraction of the cost of getting both services separately. 

Any other suggestions on how to improve my website and services are most welcome.

I've decided to offer a 20% discount for new clients for their first copy edit. This offer will be valid until further notice. If you are interested, please contact me using the form on this website. Free 1,000 word sample edits are also available upon request.

Please note that proofreads and content edits are not included in this discount. 

05/13/15 - This discount is not currently available. 

As of today I have made several changes to my services and rates. I have updated my website to include all the new information. Hopefully this will provide a wider range of options for authors to choose from at affordable prices.

As of next week, I am going to be volunteering in the Communications and Creative Services department of the main branch of my city's library. Not only will this be a great opportunity to learn more about the wider world of editing and writing from some amazing and talented individuals, it will also mean being surrounded by books all day!

This experience absolutely will not affect my editing work. I am only volunteering for a few hours one day a week, so I will have plenty of time to work with all the incredible authors who use my services, and hopefully some new faces too.

Wish me luck in my new role!